‘Social Sites Don’t Deliver Big Ad Gains’ – now here’s my big ads

Are you curious about world’s kick-a** ads that I just created based on scientific research? Let’s begin with the backdrop illuminated by this Wallstreet article:

As Microsoft Corp. makes a $44.6 billion bet on Internet advertising with its unsolicited offer for Yahoo Inc., there are signs that some of the biggest new places where consumers are flocking on the Web — social networking and video-sharing sites — are yielding advertising revenue slower than some Internet companies had hoped.

The argument is pretty clear. Social Networking websites are not necessarily making the revenue marketers think they would.

So what went wrong? And how can we rectify this?

Let’s continue with Mohan’s favorite cliches – which might have summarised the mindsets that non-marketing people (i.e. geeks) will nod and smile (with bracketed notes from me),

1. Its about the community (oh dear, we love you, too)
2. Make passionate users of your customers (what? ‘Make’ users? into customers? you mean they are like transformers and can ‘reboot’ into one another? you lost me here…)
3. Communities are built “one person at a time” (Right. So does baby-making i guess.)
4. The web is the biggest social network (what about China?)
5. Email is the best social network (what about women? or men?)
6. The lines of social networks between business and home are blurring (huh?)
7. Keep your community always in the know (of what though?)
8. Get inside your community’s head, but go for their hearts (did they dub this from how to loose a guy in ten days???)
9. Marketing to a community is evil (but making money is not. wait.. huh?)
10. Build a community for the sake of doing good, not profiting from it. (“help! I am attacked by personalised ads!!”)

While Bill’s diagnosis is the problem that advertisers are using old school methods for these websites.

But the main challenge is BANNER BLINDNESS. There are now generations of surfers who have distinctively different styles in web-browing. Yahoo!’s older baby boomers are very different from Google’s yuppies or moms who just redicovered the there is search functions on the internet versus business people who would only log in to check email, banking, and stock prices. How ‘permeable’ they are to advertisement solicits interesting psycho-social research, which I am not sure if ‘marketing people’ will see the value of it.

Nielson’s research illuminates the ‘problem’:

See – we are literally blind to banner ads. And his conclusion is that only ads that are:

    • Plain text
    • Faces
    • Cleavage and other “private” body parts

stand a better chance of being noticed.

How exciting.

So we just need a lot of cleavage then. And probably there will be world peace as well… damn, Freud has been right!

Okay so if I aspire to be a word-class marketer, this is my campaign:

cleavage ‘abstracted’ from Flickr by C.P.Storm

Wonder if gum tree will hire me.