So – I finally did the leap. From free-lancing/full-time studying mode to being a pin in a corporate world. It is fun, but at the same time lots of new challenges. Everyone has a different coping strategy. I opted for talking to the wisemen – and here is what I distill and would love to share with you all.
1. Look for your objectives
Be it taking more personality tests, reading the biographies of your heros, or talking to your best friends – you might have your own style. But for me and for the harsh reality of London’s commuting – I prefer to spend some reflective time in the tube not sniffing someone’s sweaty armpits, but to think of what I have done that day and what does that mean to me in a larger scheme.
Of course, me comes first.
And of course, at times sweaty armpits are unavoidable.
It is also a time to think of what I want to become at the end of the year, at the end of five years, as I am ten years older and when I retire, who do I want to be? A billionaire? Someone who travels around the world? Be part of the believers and supporters of microfinancing or MIT’s $100 laptop per child?
Whoever told you that you could find the answer is complete bullock. But it is worthwhile to gain some perspectives into who you can become and more importantly, who you want to become. Then that’s the time you can better prioritise where your energy goes. The amazing side effect is that all petty things around you become minuscule, really.
2. Be strong
Men or women – we are living in the world of doubts. Am I too fat? Do I earn enough? Is my car cool? How much money I have left this month? Should I enroll in pension schemes? Oh, or MBA? The list goes on…
The truth is, people love judging you. Either you choose to have the lowest profile or you feel overwhelmed. The best advice I got is to believe in what you can achieve, and do think of how you can contribute to a larger scheme in life. Tossing your ego out of the window does not make you weak, but brings you new strengths because it reminds you of your beliefs – how you can contribute to the greater good. It does take more strength to do that than to hold on to your ego. It’s a constant battle.
3. Remember what makes you happy
My friends told me the Centre of Buddhist Studies in Asia actually attracts more investment bankers than the usual suspects, aka the new age folks. Making money is important, but only if it makes it easier for you so that you can make the most out of your lives. Sometimes it doesn’t take much – be it a long distance call to your parents, taking your best mate out for a dinner, or bringing a rose to your spouse (god knows what’s next). We have the power to be happy, and sometimes it comes from making other happy. Whatever it is, don’t forget you soul.
4. Speak less, Listen more
Haha – this is hard for the extroverts. Listening doesn’t mean just nodding your head and listen to anyone, but to go out, finding those who are with it, learn how they become who they are, conceptualise their ‘dots’, and draw a line through the dots the way you like it – and share. That’s reflexive listening. As much as a cliché it is, the sum can be bigger than the whole.
5. Respect
Respect others. Don’t gossip. It might be okay to listen to gossips (they are fun and we are human, after all) – but don’t pass them around. You never know what are the bigger intentions someone has when passing along gossips to you.
Also, respect other people’s time. If you do need to invite someone to a meeting – show them you have done your homework and be precise what you need from them. Follow up. I know it’s been written all over the internet but respecting other people’s time is an art. And the best piece of advice I got is, ‘It’s ABSOLUTELY legitimate to ask why you are invited to a meeting and what you are expected to contribute’. And be ready to answer your attendees that question as well.
6. Don’t stop learning
Happiness comes from learning something new and breaking routines. Learning also lets you hop from jobs to jobs and realize your dreams. But more importantly, when you learn something and become a mini-expert in the area you are passionate about, not only can you glow and grow in the area, you also gain respect from other passionistas – and there’s nothing that beat the feeling. (again, I’ve assumed that you’re also an extrovert) ;)
7. Learn to say ‘I don’t know’
Don’t bluff. If you know enough of the area, no one expect you to know everything. But if you bluff it, you loose respect, because PEOPLE KNOW!
8. Assume good faith
Yes, of course there are people who piss you off at work. Here I’m nicking Wikipedia’s top two core ‘norms’. I love ‘Assume good faith’ and ‘Neural Point of View’, with a bit of my own twist. How much time we spent suspecting other people’s motives? If you assume good faith from the others, you actually go and communicate and dispel a lot of myths or accumulated anger/frustration – which goes back to point 5 – it’s a big respect to people you work with as well.
9. Neutral Point of View (at times)
Don’t jump to conclusion and be a judge of what’s work and what’s not, who’s good and who’s bad. Life is parallel to work in a sense there’s usually no black or white, right or wrong in simplistic terms. This is not to say you should be the one without opinion – it goes back to points 2&6 – don’t stop learning, be strong, but make INFORMED opinion instead. And that’s a bloody huge difference between annoying your colleagues and being someone whom everyone loves to work with. A main lesson I learnt from Wikipedia – it’s not who you are, but it’s what you say and what sources you are citing.
10. Believe in yourself, but research, research, research
All in all – it is never easy to believe in yourself, but when you do, keep on learning and listening to others and research – everything would just all seem to be in better place. And of course, this list is not exhaustible. Feel free to pass along or add stuff on and share that with me.
Thanks to all the wisemen!
